


Find My Way Back

by enjolraes



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series, From dusk till dawn
Genre: F/M, SethKate - Freeform, semi-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 02:06:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11749845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolraes/pseuds/enjolraes
Summary: “Seth, no,” Scott warns, and Kate’s voice is pleading, too, but Seth doesn’t care. He reaches for her hand, bullets and gun in his be damned, and Amaru snaps upright, every trace of Kate gone. Her hand finds his face, and suddenly, Seth is immobilized, Amaru’s grip deathly on either side of his face. He grunts out in pain, and every memory he’s had since Kate Fuller walked into his life is on the forefront of his mind. He thinks of every broken promise, of all the nights they drove into the sunset, of all the motel rooms they’ve ever rented, of all of the smiles she’s given him, easy and warm, of their hands touching while passing things back and forwards to each other, the way her shampoo smells after showers, singing old rock songs to each other to stay awake while they worked on planning for jobs, the fights, long and exhausting, the heroin Kate shot in Seth’s neck too many times to keep her innocence, her face broken as he got in the car and drove away, letting her walk alone to her death.Amaru smirks, and the pain is unfathomable. “You lied,” she says, her voice smug. Seth’s breath comes out choked. “You do have a soul.”





	Find My Way Back

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this was originally supposed to be a few pages long, nothing major -- but I got an idea for a narration from Seth's perspective that sort of works throughout all of s3 and beyond, with plenty of flashbacks of the Mexican Honeymoon and more, because both Seth Gecko and I love to torture ourselves. It came out a lot longer than intended (33 pages, in total) but I couldn't cut any of it down. I hope you enjoy Seth yearning and hurting and wanting his girl back! (and because I love happy endings, enjoy it ending with him getting everything he wants -- and, irregardless of what he thinks, deserves.)
> 
> For Savanah, as always.

Every morning, Seth Gecko wakes up with the sound of a shotgun shell clattering against the sides of his skull. There’s always sheets around his ankles; heart beating furiously out of his chest. The panic begins to set in, creeping up around his neck, tracing the tendrils of his tattoo. His breath catches in his mouth, stale and drunken from the night before. 

It always takes a minute to detach that panic from all the times he’s woken up with a gun pressed against his temple, cold and clammy. No, this is different: this isn’t a hypothetical, and it isn’t him with a bullet hole poised as a question up against his skin. This bullet was made for someone else, someone better, someone good. Someone who was caught in the right place at the wrong time.

If anyone asks if Seth believes in fate, he’ll deny it. He didn’t believe in it when he was a kid, when he raised Richie himself, when he got beat to the ground in prison. He didn’t believe in it when Carlos showed up, shady and merciless, telling Seth to take back what the world owed him. He definitely didn’t believe in it when Richie shot the first bullet in the liquor store, right when they were finally almost over the border. 

It’s funny how fate is the answer to a question that Seth never knew he was asking. He can feel it now, though, bubbling up inside his chest, a silhouette of the lifestyle he’s lived as long as he’s known how to breathe. Fate comes in all different costumes: a bullet hole through his brother’s chest, fangs unhinging from Richie’s foul mouth; bullets emptied into people who threatened the two of them; the road they sped down as they left the world behind, running from the past they could never escape from; an RV stopping a few inches short from crushing him to death. 

Seth knows all about penance, or rather running from it. Chasing ghosts that never would return fully to life. The way the rain felt on his skin the day of his mother’s funeral, the bell tolling in the church in the distance, whiskey on his father’s breath. Richie coming home with a broken nose; telling Seth he needed someone to teach him how to throw a punch. Killing that woman in Poughkeepsie, her body still warm as she hit the ground. The timer inside of his chest as he relives his and Richie’s journey to the Titty Twister. Blood spattering against his face, way too many times to count. 

He thinks he hates religion. (He doesn’t.) 

Ghosts dance around Seth’s head all the time, all more painful and lifelike than the last. But lately, every single one is in the shape of Kate Fuller. 

Seth still remembers how it felt when she hit the ground, body too warm, hair spread out around her. Or, rather, he doesn’t, because he wasn’t there to witness it. He remembers how it felt after, when Richie told him Kate was gone. How it feels now, still, after months have passed. He’s haunted by this ghost of a girl follows him around, in circles and circles inside of his mind. The panic of losing someone he had promised to keep safe twice now hurts worse than anything he’s ever felt. More than his father’s fists, more than Richie’s betrayal, more than all of it.

Especially because this time it was all his fault, and Seth doesn’t know quite how to flee from that.

To care is to have your heart wrenched out your chest as many times as you can take. And then after that, as many times that you can’t. The point is to get up, still bleeding. And if you can’t do that, you fight from your knees. 

Before Kate Fuller, Seth hadn’t had to fight that many battles on his knees. 

 

_It starts like this: two brothers running on their last hope and last chance. The older brother is Atlas, bearing the weight of all the world atop his shoulders so that the younger brother doesn’t have to feel all that pain. The older brother makes a deal with a mob boss who’s something a lot more wicked than a mob boss, the younger brother has a woman dancing in visions through his head. The brothers head for the border of Mexico, leaving gunpowder and shell casings and blood spatters behind them._

__

__

__

__

Older brother fears terribly for younger brother, whose sense of morality is a compass flung far away from true north. Older brother comes back to motel room to find a body and more blood than said body could possibly contain. 

Older brother and younger brother make their way to another motel, just sleazy enough to be perfectly inconspicuous. Clock starts ticking down. 

_The brothers kidnap a small family at said motel: a weary old father, an adopted son, and … a daughter. The father and son protect the girl at every cost. The girl does not need to be protected._

 

He and Richie aren’t on the run, anymore, but no one has told Seth’s chest. That same panic that both fueled and paralyzed him in his life on the run still aches its way into his heart. He knows the adrenaline is a good thing, it keeps him on his toes, but the rush hasn’t been the same since the blood well, Kate’s body ghostly on the ground, the white sheet Richie and Scott had draped over her blowing and tattered in the wind. 

They’ve been staying with Ximena, who is tough but kind. She has yet to learn how to trust them both, especially after the deaths of all the lords, and she can match Seth’s razor sharp tongue. They’ve all come to a crossroads: Seth knows there are parts of Richie that only she can understand now, Ximena knows Richie would never abandon his brother. It’s the one constant they’ve had through their entire lives. Seth and Richie have each other, and that’s the only certainty. 

Time passes slow; bodies hit the ground. Seth and the culebras surrounding him have reached a stalemate as well. They know they both need each other, and Richie acts as Switzerland. Tempers get high as they fight off monster after monster, but Seth likes it, the killing. Stakes and knives and guns in his hands, that’s the natural order of things. That’s what he was born to do. It’s a bitter and grim truth, but one he accepted long ago. He’s not the hero of any story, and that’s okay. 

 

The news of the Titty Twister’s destruction, the rise of hellspawn from Xibalba, and the amulet makes its way to them after the Skull Keeper’s death, after the possession of the culebras has died back down. It’s a frenzy: everyone is in a state of heightened panic, and Seth’s heart is still buzzing with anxiety. Richie is more unhinged than usual, picking fights with anyone, and Seth feels all that pent-up anger and fear chasing themselves around inside of his chest. He can’t focus long enough on what they’re saying, but from the way Ximena keeps repeating “hell on Earth”, Seth has a feeling this is worse than anything else he’s encountered before. 

He’s unsure how they arrived at the decision, but Freddie and Ximena head off together to chase after Brasa, in hopes that killing him will kill off the Xibalbans popping up all over the map. Seth and Richie are to find Santanico and persuade her to join their fight. Seth’s chest hums the whole way there; his stomach turns flip after flip. He’s not sure what he’s afraid of, exactly, just that he’s scared. His heart feels unmoored in his chest. Richie is silent for once, both of them mulling over the ghosts of their paths. 

When they get inside, Seth’s heart still hammers. His mind wanders as they’re talking to Santanico (“Kisa,” she had said harshly when Seth opened his mouth. “My name is Kisa. And whatever you’re looking for, I’m sure I can’t help you.”), and without ever really stopping to consider the stakes, he’s climbing into the ring, button-up and jacket discarded on the floor somewhere. This is what he was made for. Seth Gecko can really throw a punch. 

The crowd around the ring is writhing and alive, pulsing with some sort of supernatural energy Seth has never tried to get high on. He catches Richie’s eyes from where he’s sitting with Kisa, and Richie just stares him down. _This is what it comes to_ , Seth thinks. _This is always what it comes to. Me, my fists, nothing else._

His opponent lands no punches the first few minutes, Seth knocking loose a tooth and breaking skin. A punch to Seth’s jaw, one to the other guy’s stomach. Seth missed this pain, the one that fades after the bruises do. There’s nothing quite like the ache of a good fight. He turns, trying to catch Richie’s eye, and that’s when he sees her. 

Kate. 

Seth’s breath catches in his throat, the world comes to a standstill. Her eyes find his. Seth stumbles forward, entranced. There she is, perfect. Long auburn hair hangs down her back, her eyes are cold and calculating. On her mouth is the slightest upturned smirk. 

Seth doesn’t see the punch coming, or even feel it, until he’s on the ground. He heaves a breath, trying to get enough air into his lungs. It’s a hallucination, he tells himself, and then when his eyes search the room, there she is again. His heart hammers. Seth props himself up on one elbow, watching as she flits through the crowd. He spits out blood; finds her eyes. She’s so close, he could reach out and touch her. 

A swift kick to the ribs and Seth grunts and pushes himself up. He can feel her eyes on him as he punches once, twice, three times, and then he’s on the ground again. Seth can hear the crowd jeering, taunting, but he doesn’t care.

Kate is here, eyes on his. Kate’s _alive._

He locks eyes with her again, his heart dancing in his chest. This time, when the punch comes, he’s ready. She’s watching him, or maybe watching over him, Seth thinks, dazed. He fights the rest of the match with the fervor of a man possessed, knocking his opponent down. The victory is nothing compared to the way his heart beats for Kate. (She’s alive.) 

It takes a moment for Seth to realize what’s happened next: something huge, and otherworldly, and really fucking ugly lands next to him, and he’s sprinting for his life with Richie until they find themselves back in Kisa’s headquarters, a flimsy barricade against the doors. 

“Kate,” he says, and the word is out of his mouth before he can savor it. “I saw Kate out there,” he says, dumbly, and Richie, Kisa, and Manola all stare at him. 

“It’s not possible,” Richie says. “I watched her die.” 

“It was her,” Seth breathes, dazed. “Kate.” He savors her name this time, bittersweet on his tongue. After comes the familiar death grip around his heart, seizing and wicked. He knows it’s all his fault. He knows that she was killed because of him. He knows it’s haunted him this long, he knows that Kate’s death is all on him.

But… Kate’s _alive._ His heart thrills with the knowledge of it, giddy sense of hope inside of his stomach. 

From the back of the room, Kisa and Richie are arguing. Seth lets it filter in one ear and out the other, until Kisa’s voice shapes around the words “Santa Sangre,” and Seth’s heart does that familiar, painful drop. 

“Something’s in her,” Richie says. “She’s not Kate anymore.” 

Seth turns around slowly. “I just saw her--” 

Richie shakes his head. “She--”

He doesn’t finish the thought as the room shakes gain, screams and cries cut through the air. They split up, Seth thrust in with Kisa and Richie and Manola taking off through the back. The rest of the evening passes in a haze, and Seth doesn’t come back to his senses until the car ride home. Richie is going on and on about who -- or what -- possessed Kate. Seth tunes in and out, mind on the first time he saw her, pissed and confrontational in the RV she had nearly run him over with. He remembers the plan that had bubbled up inside of him, hasty but fully formed, taking her and her family hostage. 

_“Hey,” Seth had said, after Richie and Kate’s brother and father had gone ahead. His mind was dizzied and hazy from thinking ahead; from worry of what Richie was going to do when left alone. “Look at me.”_

_Kate’s eyes had found his then, too, and something inside of Seth had melted. “Listen,” he had said, and heaved a deep breath. “You do what I tell you, when I tell you, and you’ll make it through this without any bumps or scrapes. Okay?”_

_Kate nodded, just once. Seth knew she had believed him, then, even if she didn’t._

_(She doesn’t know she does until Seth saves her without fail every time. Every time until he doesn’t.)_

 

That night, Seth doesn’t sleep. He stares at the ceiling, thinking of the empty promise he had made to Jacob Fuller, that first day. The energy in the room was palpable, Seth glanced out of the window to where Kate swam in the pool, Richie’s gaze too intense. 

“Why did you tell him not to touch her?” Jacob had asked, and Seth had exhaled, lifting his finger off of the trigger of the gun he had been holding, cool and smooth in the palm of his hand. 

“What?”

“Your brother.” Jacob’s voice had wavered, but he stood his ground. “You told your brother not to touch my daughter. Why--”

Seth had exhaled again, impatient and insatiable. 

“Your daughter’s gonna be fine,” he had said flippantly, and now, in the dark of the room, Seth wishes more than anything that promise was the one he was able to keep. 

 

The next few days pass in a haze, but Seth can feel that childish hope that had bubbled up inside of his chest with the appearance of Kate’s face, matured and unreal as it swam through the club’s blue lights, start to be devoured by fear. Once he and Richie find Ximena’s old informant (and apparent lover) and bring him back to the lair, Burt lays it out, blunt and honest. 

Richie and Burt spend minutes dissecting what happened with Kate and the blood well -- Carlos shot Kate, Kate refused to let Richie and Scott turn her, Kate died. The blood well, against all odds, finally started working. Something unholy and evil crept into Kate’s body before it turned cold. It healed her, if only to bring more destruction and wreak more havoc among the earth. Burt explains this all as Seth’s heart races. He know that Kate’s probably too far gone. He knows that this Amaru is going to use Kate and suck her dry and leave her for dead. Just like Seth did. His stomach flips over at the thought of it happening to Kate again, his heart aches.

“What does she want?” Richie says, and Seth holds up his hand. “No. Fuck that,” he says, heart beating too loudly. “How do we get her back? How do we get it out of her?”

Burt’s head slowly moves from side to side. “You don’t,” he says, and Seth’s heart drops. “Kate’s gone.” 

 

_It starts like this: younger brother shatters older brother’s heart. Everything the brothers have worked for falls to the ground like shards of broken glass. Younger brother stays, bound forever in that moment with venom in his veins. Older brother flees into the sunlight._

_Kate tentatively walks up to the flashy car, blood spattered all over her tank top. She looks like she’s seen hell. (She has.) Seth walks out of the Titty Twister, his heart still broken on that bloody dance floor._

_“Seth,” she says, and her voice is barely a whisper. He looks up anyways, surprise and a tiny smile spilling across his face._

_A beat of silence, a question unasked. Kate steps forward and opens her mouth. “You want some company?”_

_Seth stares at her, shock and wonder blossoming up across his face. His eyebrows furrow, unfurrow. He waits to see if Kate is bluffing. Kate isn’t bluffing._

_“Yeah.” He smiles. She smiles. The two of them hop wordlessly into the car, leaving their demons and their brothers behind, Scott and Richie’s souls bound forever by immortality their eldest siblings never wanted for themselves._

 

Freddie returns amidst all of this, relaying what happened with Scott and Kate’s newly possessed form. 

“She would have killed Scott if I hadn’t stopped her,” Freddie says. His face is changed in the past year Seth’s begrudgingly let him into his life. Freddie’s beleaguered, heavy-hearted. Seth knows he’s carrying around just as much pain as the rest of them, burdened further from being the true good guy in all of this. 

“What do you mean, stopped her?” 

Freddie glances at Seth. “I shot her.” 

 

Later, after making plans to use Scott as bait, knowing Amaru would come back and finish the job, Seth and Richie blow down the highway. One of his father’s favorite rock songs is on the radio, and Seth’s keyed up. He doesn’t know how he’ll handle seeing Kate again, hair dyed blood red, makeup maturing her kind eyes. He grimaces, trying to find the courage to shoot a bullet through her heart. 

Seth knows this is the kind thing to do, put Kate out of her misery. It doesn’t stop him from wanting to be egotistical and find a way to save her still. Seth Gecko was never one to play the hero, too much selflessness, but saving Kate won’t be for his gain only. 

He promised Kate’s father his daughter wouldn’t get hurt, that she was a bargaining chip to get Seth and Richie to El Rey. And now Kate is his only road back to getting to paradise one day, paradise that Seth knows he’ll never deserve. His lip is split straight down the middle from the fight. Seth knows that Kate’s gone, in his heart of hearts. He’s known since she was shot straight through the chest. He knows she’s gone, and he knows no one can come back from that, and he knows he’ll never forgive himself for it. 

Richie plays devil’s advocate, asking Seth if Kate’s still alive where she’s being held prisoner inside of her body. Seth shuts down the flicker of hope before it turns into a forest fire, destroying everything in his path. 

“She’s gone,” Seth says, and when Richie argues, Seth’s voice becomes iron. “Whatever’s left needs to be put down.” 

 

_It goes like this: older siblings from two completely opposite worlds drive off into the sunset together. For a while, there’s only silence and dust and faded highway pavement. Seth glances over at Kate every time he can, her sitting shotgun, wordless. Neither of them wants to be the first to speak, so they don’t until they can’t bear the silence for another moment longer._

_Seth gives in first._

_“You hungry?”_

_Kate shakes her head, but turns her eyes to him. “Where are we going?”_

_Seth looks at her, gaze questioning. “I… don’t know,” he admits from the first time. “I just need to get away.”_

_Kate nods, teeth pulling back the skin of her lower lip. They pass a gas station, blue and red lights flickering across Kate’s bloodstained face. Seth pulls the car over._

_“You sure?” he asks, and it comes out gruff._

_“About what?”_

_He swallows. The sun is down past the horizon, and the orange light of the rays skating across the hot Mexico dust is nullified by black, open sky, littered with twinkling stars._

_“Wanting to keep me company,” he says finally, and Kate’s face flickers with what might be a smile._

_“Wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure,” she says, and he nods. Inside, Seth’s chest is seeping with warmth._

 

He’s not sure when it happens, or how it happens, but Seth is found face to face with her. Kate.

Amaru, he corrects internally, but his heart doesn’t know that. It’s still Kate’s face, Kate’s body, Kate’s eyes. Even swimming with black makeup, even heated with a contempt and hellfire Seth couldn’t believe Kate was ever capable of. 

He points the gun at her, brain wrestling against his hear. The safety clicks off. She looks at him with a hungry interest. 

“You have really fucked up my life, you know that?” He asks, voice on fire, and she smirks, stepping forward. Seth moves toward her, unaware at first. His gravitational pull has unmoored from the ground and has landed on her. 

Amaru sneers; Seth’s heart wrenches. 

“What was it that you said to her,” she says, and Seth hears something new in her voice. It’s deeper, taunting, tantalizing. Seth suddenly can’t find where Kate starts and ends. He takes another step. “Stick with me and you’ll make it through without any bumps or scrapes, right?” 

Seth’s heart wrenches again. Hearing his own words tossed back at him, here, now, is nearly too much to bear. He cocks the gun. 

“Seth, no,” Scott warns, but Seth’s adrenaline is pumping. He can’t tear his eyes off of Amaru, searching desperately for traces of Kate. 

“No,” Amaru says, voice gravelly and breathy at the same time, “Come a bit closer. I want to taste your soul.” 

Seth swallows, his heart racing. He tries to anchor himself to the mission: Kill Amaru. Try not to think about Kate. 

He fails. “Sorry,” Seth says, and a crack works its way down the word. “Don’t have one.” 

It’s a lie, and it’s the biggest lie Seth’s ever told. He knows that. He knows that his fatal flaw isn’t disinterest, he knows it’s from caring too much. He knows it from the way he’s always protected Richie, letting his father’s fists land on him instead. He knows it from the way he cried at night when his mother first got sick, stuffing his fist in his mouth to protect Richie from that, too. He knows it from the way he’d stepped in front of Kate when the professor hit on her, lewd with disgusting desire. He knows it from the way he turned around in the temple for her, even when Jacob was wounded and it would have been so much easier for Seth to leave them behind. He knows it from the way he had curled his arm around Kate, in front of her, shielding her when they ran from the night together. He knows it from grabbing her hand, soft and warm, inside of his, as they ran out of the botched job at the hair salon. He knows it from dragging her down on the ground as bullets flew over their heads. He knows it from holding her so tightly he thought his bones would shatter as they stared down the business end of a shotgun. He knows it from leaving her on the side of the road so she wouldn’t have to bear the weight of the life on the run. He knows it from wanting to protect her from being jaded and being killed, even though in the end, that’s what happened anyways. 

Seth knows it’s a lie, especially now. His guns are full of bullets and he can’t seem to pull the trigger, because Kate or not, he cannot risk losing her again.

Suddenly, the slice of knife hitting flesh rings out, and Seth steps back. Kate -- Amaru -- is bent over, and Seth looks over at Scott, holding the knife in his hand. “We don’t have much time,” he warns, and Seth looks back over at Amaru. 

Only, no, this time it’s Kate. It’s really Kate. Her eyes swim with tears. 

Seth steps forward. He forgot all about the gun in his hand until Kate opens her mouth. “Do it, Seth, please,” she pleads, and Seth feels his heart break in two. “Shoot me, please, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t hold her--” She breaks off, swaying forward. There are fracture lines all over her face. Seth exhales, brows furrowed. He feels his heart fighting his brain. This time, his heart wins. He staggers forward, his heart silencing the voice in his mind. It’s Kate. 

“Seth, no,” Scott warns, and Kate’s voice is pleading, too, but Seth doesn’t care. He reaches for her hand, and Amaru snaps upright, every trace of Kate gone. Her hand finds his face, and suddenly, Seth is immobilized, Amaru’s grip deathly on either side of his face. He grunts out in pain, and every memory he’s had since Kate Fuller walked into his life is on the forefront of his mind. He thinks of every broken promise, of all the nights they drove into the sunset, of all the motel rooms they’ve ever rented, of all of the smiles she’s given him, easy and warm, of their hands touching while passing things back and forwards to each other, the way her shampoo smells after showers, singing old rock songs to each other to stay awake while they worked on planning for jobs, the fights, long and exhausting, the heroin Kate shot in Seth’s neck too many times to keep her innocence, her face broken as he got in the car and drove away, letting her walk alone to her death. 

Amaru smirks, and the pain is unfathomable. “You lied,” she says, her voice smug. Seth’s breath comes out choked. “You do have a soul.” 

 

He isn’t sure how it ends, how the night fades into him in the car with Richie, but he doesn’t speak a word until he gets back to the lair. “Shower,” he manages, and makes his escape into the tiled walls of the bathroom. Seth stands under the water until it runs cold, wishing he still believed in God so he could pray for Kate’s life. (And, if there was enough room afterwards, for his own soul.)

 

_Kate’s eighteenth birthday comes on one hazy morning. They’d already moved their way back across half of Mexico, Seth itching to pull a big job in Arizona, Kate refusing to pass Texas and Bethel._

_Seth knows what it’s like to have ghosts chase him, how the pain of losing a hometown rips holes in your chest. He doesn’t push it. They’re on the road, music spilling through the speakers of the Camaro Seth stole a day ago, reminiscent of the car they made their getaway in, leaving behind their brothers and their demons. Kate’s feet are up on the dashboard, her hair in a lazy ponytail, crooning along to the stereo. Seth loves it when she sings, her voice lilting and beautiful. Suddenly Kate sits straight up, eyes fixed on the time flashing on the clock mounted above the rearview mirror._

_“Shit,” She says, and Seth loves the way her voice sounds wrapping around curse words. Unnatural and guttural, poetry painted black. “It’s the sixth, isn’t it?”_

_Seth nods, gaze finding Kate’s eyes. There’s a storm inside of them that had whipped u within a second. She sighs, hands dropping back down to either side. Her left arm brushes by his as it lands, and he chances another look over towards her. It’s a hazy day, clouds bluish and sun-stained above them. “It’s my birthday,” Kate says finally, her voice sullen. “I’m eighteen.”_

_Seth hesitates for a moment, pulls the Camaro over to the side of the road. Kate looks over at him, eyes poised in a question mark. Seth’s breath catches in his throat. He wants to make this day special for her, not just filled with adrenaline and guns and cash. Seth knows, in a perfect world, Kate’s mother would be here, and her father, and Scott._

_He knows, in Kate’s perfect world, that she would have never met Seth._

_Seth wants to give her the world. His chest aches with it, knowing that, even if Kate would never admit it, spending her eighteenth birthday with the man that kidnapped her and took her family away from her wasn’t the way she ever dreamed it. He pulls the keys out of the ignition. He looks over at her._

_“Happy birthday, Kate,” Seth says, voice measured. He needs her to know he means it. “What do you want to do? Anything you want. Eighteenth birthdays only come around once.”_

_Kate’s eyebrows furrow. “We’re on the run, Seth. We stole this car and all the money in it, it’s not like we can stop at a fancy restaurant and get an overly expensive dinner and eat our weight in birthday cake.”_

_Seth’s eyes flash. “Why not?” He asks, and a devilish smile works its way across his face. Kate grins too, all giddiness and teeth. “Dinner. Tonight. Fancy resturant, cake, the whole nine yards.”_

_Kate shakes her head slowly, and then grins. “Okay.”_

_Seth turns the keys over in the ignition. “Okay.”_

_The day passes; sun chases the light over the hills. They get back into the Camaro, speed off for the nearest city. The restaurant is glamorous and ritzy, and Seth extends an arm out to Kate, habit from being a safe hand to hold as they fought their way out of heists. Without question, Kate takes it. They both feel thrills through their bodies. They laugh and dine and talk and talk and talk. Seth feels a pang inside his chest when he realizes how much he’s enjoying this. He knows this is unfair, unkind, unholy. Kate deserves to have the life she was living before Seth came along, all suits and guns and heartbreak. He opens his mouth to apologize, once, and Kate lays a hand across his arm. The words retreat back down his throat._

_“I’m sorry,” Seth manages finally, eyes searching Kate’s. Pleading, yearning, wanting. He needs her to know it’s genuine. “I’m sorry for all of it. This isn’t the birthday you should be having. You shouldn’t even be here--”_

_“Well, I am,” Kate says, and her voice is firm. “I’m here, because I want to be here. Okay? Stop apologizing. I was the one who ran away with you. This is who I am now.” Her eyes are steely, determined. Seth doesn’t argue, for once._

This conversation mirrors itself, nearly a year after. Seth holds onto Kate’s arm. Both of them are bloodied and exhausted.

Against all odds, Kate still chooses him. 

 

Days pass. Seth doesn’t sleep well, and when he does, he’s haunted by visions of Kate. One morning, after he had left her behind, he got high and imagined her there, back in that tiny motel room. She was angelic, hair falling around her shoulders. She took the place next to him on the bed, hands dancing across his face. He knew he was dreaming; he knew he could never be allowed to have hands that holy and pure on someone who was as tortured and fucked up as he was. Still, he asked Kate what she was doing there, knowing the answer would be something too good for him to be on the receiving end of. 

Kate shook her head, smile stretching lazily across her face. “I couldn’t leave you,” she had whispered, and held his face on either side. “I could never leave you.” Seth woke up in a panic after she had grown culebra fangs and snakeskin, jolted horrifyingly out of a dream-turned-nightmare. 

Everything post-Amaru feels like that nightmare: Something far too good to be true, ending up exactly that. Seth doesn’t know what it feels like to have his heart in his chest and his dreams his own again. Every night, his heart tells his head he has to save Kate, for all the times he couldn’t. And every morning, his head tells his heart to fuck off, that forgiveness for his sins will never, ever be possible. 

 

The plan is this: The boys all head off to the church where Amaru is practicing sacrilege. Seth knows how much this hurts Kate, the purity still left inside her heart marred and mangled. He knows that she’ll never forgive herself, even though the circumstances are way out of her control. He knows because he feels it too. She’ll think she isn’t worthy of forgiveness. 

If she makes it out of this alive, Seth thinks, and closes his eyes as the next part of his thought floats through like a freight train: even if she makes it out of this, what’s saying she’ll still want to live? 

His throat closes up. Seth tries to remember what it feels like to just be focused on the job, to not have to worry about anyone else making out of the scenario alive but him and Richard. His brother is silent behind him, and Seth focuses on Richie for a second. He’d never admit it, but Seth knows how badly Richie is hurting from all of it. Letting Kate tag along, letting her get shot, letting this happen to her. And now, for letting Amaru in and control his mind, fucking around inside of there to find the exact right tool to break both Gecko brothers’ hearts. Seth knows the burden Richie is carrying along all too well, because Seth feels it all too. 

They sneak in, cloaked and disguised. Tanner causes the diversion, Seth locks eyes on Amaru. Her hair is wicked and tangled, and he follows her, dodging through pillars to cut her off. Amaru sneers; Seth cocks his crossbow. 

“That stake will do nothing,” she taunts, and Seth exhales. It’s not Kate, he reminds himself, and pulls out his pistol. 

“Last time I checked,” Seth says, his breath even for the first time since this all started, “A bullet will still do a hell of a lot of damage.” Amaru sneers again, steps forward. Seth steels himself and fires the gun right into her kneecap. Amaru howls in pain, and Seth’s heart becomes untethered. Tanner and Richie are there to knock her down and drag her out, all of them stepping into the chilly night air. Amaru taunts and clicks her teeth, Seth doesn’t let this phase him. It’s for Kate, it’s all to get Kate back.

And to save the world from Xibalban hell on earth, but right now, that’s less of a priority on Seth’s list.

 

Twenty minutes later, Seth and Tanner have Amaru in chains, immobilized by the metal. Amaru cocks her head to the side and Seth exhales, stepping into the ring. From the side, Tanner is reading ancient purifying spells out of his book. Seth walks up to Amaru, steeling himself. 

“You know, we wouldn’t have to do this if you’d just tell us what you were planning,” Seth says. His voice is even. Amaru offers up a wicked smile. Seth snaps his fingers; Tanner pulls the machine; Amaru is stretched straight upwards, each limb pulled in opposite directions. She exhales in pain. Seth steps closer. “So it does hurt, huh? Was that whole ‘I am pain’ speech just a ruse?” 

Amaru narrows her eyes. Seth matches her taunting expression, snapping his fingers at Tanner, who continues reading ancient spells and turning up the machine. “Guess you’re just gonna have to leave that body, then.” 

Seth watches as another wicked grin dances its way across Amaru’s face. Even in the foreign expression, he can see Kate’s face. “You mean like you left her on the side of the road?” 

Seth’s heart wrenches. He snaps his fingers at Tanner, who pulls on the lever. Seth can see pain etched across Amaru’s face, and ignores his heart screaming at him to stop hurting Kate. “You really think you’re the big bad end of the world, don’t you?” She grits her teeth, eyes dancing. “Underneath all this…” He gestures at all of the leather, “All I see is fear and desperation.” 

Tanner pulls harder, Amaru grunts again. Seth squares his shoulders. He taunts Amaru right back; she may be the queen of hell, but Seth Gecko knows how to talk his way out of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. He emphasizes how pathetic she is, coming up from the underworld to get all of her slaves back, desperate enough to do her own bidding. He talks so eloquently, and so smoothly, and so quickly, he forgets it’s Kate inside of there. Seth knows his endgame, he knows his words. This was always the easiest part. There has never been a bad situation Seth Gecko couldn’t sweet-talk his way out of.

“Here’s the thing,” Seth says, his voice all liquid, honeyed. “I know the one thing you’re afraid of.” 

Amaru grunts again, gasping as the machine lifts her up higher. “What’s that,” she spits through gritted teeth. 

Seth leans in, his face too close to hers. He never would have dared getting this close to Kate. He didn’t trust himself with her. He’s always been poison, always been venom. Tainting Kate was the one thing Seth never, ever wanted to do. 

But it’s not just Kate in that body now, and Seth knows exactly how to get her out. 

“Something you didn’t count on,” Seth says, and he can taste the smugness in his voice. He leans in even closer. “Kate,” Seth whispers, and Amaru goes slack against the shackles. “You know she’s in there,” he breathes. He can feel Amaru panting in the space between them. Somehow, this strengthens his resolve. “ _And you know she’s stronger than you are._ ” 

He steps back as Amaru looks up at him, eyes blood-red. Whatever trace of Kate Seth had seen break through the ropes and shackles is long gone. Her hair is disheveled, her cool composure gone. “And what about you, Seth?” Amaru taunts through gritted teeth. “Do you think that saving a little girl will make you better than your brother?” 

Seth blinks. “It makes me better than you --”

“No,” Amaru says, and she grins devilishly. “It allows you to convince yourself you’re not the monster that you truly are. You feel all that hate around you, Seth?” She pauses, and Seth exhales shakily through his nose. The word “monster” is a shard of glass through his heart. “That’s not me. It’s _her._ She blames you for everything that happened to her.” 

With this, Seth stumbles back. He’s far past not wanting Amaru to know she’s hurting him. This is too much to bear, too much to fit inside of his chest. Seth wants to run from this room, wants to sit down, wants to get into a car and drive back in time to the moment he picked the Fullers to kidnap to get him and Richard across the border. He wants to go back and never have accepted Carlos’s deal, he wants to go back and tell Richie not to break him out of jail. Hell, he wants to go back and kick his own ass the first time he ever stole something. The rush was never worth this. This is too much to bear. 

“Do you feel it, Seth?” Amaru says, teeth all bared. “Do you _feel_ it?”

Seth snaps his fingers at Tanner, breaking himself out of his own reverie. “Up,” he says, the word coming out of his mouth before he realizes he’s saying it. Amaru screams, guttural and unhinged, and Seth has to remind himself how to breathe. 

“You can make all of this stop, princess,” Seth says when he can’t bear the sound of Kate’s scream coming out of her mouth any longer. “Just tell me what you’re up to, and it’s over.” Amazingly, unbelievably, Amaru grins again. She exhales through her teeth and cocks he head at Seth once more. He laughs humorlessly, turns to look at Tanner, and that’s when Amaru speaks again. 

“KILL ME!” She roars, and Seth’s heart lurches. “DO IT! _YOU’RE JUST GONNA KILL YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE KATE, TOO!! DO IT!!!_ ” Amaru screams again as Tanner pulls the crank. Seth’s palms are sweating, and he clenches his teeth as Amaru somehow chokes out another cackle. 

“Oh, you’re not gonna do it,” she taunts, “You can’t do anything without your brother, you’re just a sniveling coward, you’ll never be anything--” 

With this, something inside of Seth snaps in half. It’s enough that she’s wearing Kate’s body like a costume, enough that Seth knows Amaru will let Kate suffer and die if she wants to, enough that Seth finally breaks his composure. Bringing Richie in was one step too far, and Seth starts screaming too.

“YOU SHUT YOUR _FUCKING_ MOUTH!” He howls, and Amaru grins, dripping with satisfaction. “YOU DON’T KNOW A GODDAMN THING ABOUT ME! YOU FUCK WITH THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M CAPABLE OF--” 

“Then show me,” Amaru says, smirking up at him, “Show me what you’re capable of--”

Seth snaps his fingers at Tanner. “Up,” he enunciates, and when Tanner protests, Seth shoves him out of the way and turns the crank himself. Seth stands and watches as all of the torches flicker and roar with flame, as Amaru shakes against the chains and starts whimpering, screaming out in pain. He doesn’t let up until Tanner pushes Seth back, watching in horror as Amaru vomits blood. A flash of red light zooms out from her body, her face bloodied and pained. “Seth,” she says, and then louder, pleading, “Seth--” and Seth inhales sharply, because that’s Kate’s voice, scratched hoarse and hurting, but that’s Kate, and she whimpers just once, a plea to stop, and he rushes over to her, shakily undoing the handcuffs. 

Holding her between his arms, Seth painstakingly brings Kate down to the floor, eyes roaming all over her, fragile and broken. Carefully, he leans her up against the post of the stretching machine, hands in her hair, cupping her face, touch as gentle as humanly possible. 

“Come on,” Seth whispers, pleading, and Kate’s eyes slowly focus on his. His rough hands cup her cheeks, and her gaze finds his. “Yeah, that’s it,” he breathes, ghosting his thumb over her pale skin. With that, she crumbles between his palms. 

“Why did you do this to me?” Kate whispers, and it’s so broken, so crushed, that Seth feels his heart break all over again. 

“What? No, no, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Seth says, and he tries desperately to convey his conviction. “I was just trying to break her--”

“You can’t beat her,” Kate counters, and swallows in pain. “She’s too powerful--”

“No,” Seth says, and it comes out harsher than he intended, but he doesn’t care, “No, fuck that, you fight.” 

Kate shakes her head, and Seth tightens the grip he has around her face. “This was all a setup,” Kate chokes out, and Seth listens as Kate relays all of the information she can access while Amaru has been poking around inside her brain. “She got caught on purpose, to distract you from what that ghost is doing,” Kate says, and Seth turns to Tanner, who quickly explains what’s happening with Richie, Scott, Freddie, and Burt. He breaks off mid-sentence when Kate writhes in pain, and Seth’s attention snaps right back to her. He traces the pad of one thumb across her cheek again, and Kate looks straight up in pain. 

“Focus on me, okay,” Seth says, and Kate chokes. “Listen, focus on me. What does she really want?” 

“Spirit guides,” Kate manages, and Seth’s eyebrows furrow as he looks back at Tanner. Seth knows the spirit guides were a part of the plan with the blood well, knows that they were caught up in something bigger and scarier then, and in something bigger and scarier now. Kate yelps in pain, and Seth looks back at her, pushing the hair out of her eyes. “C’mon,” Seth murmurs again. “Kate, look at me. Look at me.” 

Her eyes find his, and Seth’s voice comes out wobbly. “You gotta fight, alright? I’m sorry.”

Kate looks up at him, eyes locking on his. Seth wants to tell her how sorry he is, how much this is hurting him. Now more than ever, he wants to go back to the very start and pick someone else to help get him and Richie across the border. He wants Kate Fuller to have her life back, to sing in a gospel choir and graduate high school and eat dinner every night with her family, the family that Seth ripped to shreds in front of her. Kate’s eyes swim with tears. 

“I don’t forgive you,” she says, and Seth’s heart breaks all over again. He stumbles back, trying to hold onto Kate as much as he possibly can before he loses her again. He opens his mouth, maybe to say I’m sorry again, maybe to beg for forgiveness, maybe to admit to her just how much she means to him, when Kate grunts again. Her eyes unfocus, and suddenly every trace of Kate is gone, the curves of her face angled and severe. Amaru fills up Kate’s eyes, and Seth fumbles backwards onto his feet, realizing his mistake of undoing the shackles a second too late as she lurches forward, screeching at the top of her lungs. 

 

Seth’s not sure how she breaks free after that. He’s not sure how any of them get out of there alive. Freddie and Scott both got cut up nicely by the witch from Xibalba doing Amaru’s bidding. On the ride home, everyone is silent. Seth’s mind is swimming with Amaru’s plans and with Kate’s words. 

Over the next few days, they somehow devise a plan. Seth isn’t sure how the whole thing comes about; his mind has been shot to shit ever since he first saw Kate’s face through the fence of the ring where he fought to get Kisa to help them. She’s with them now, uncomfortable and hurting, but finally on Seth’s side. Kisa, too, has lost a person she loves to Amaru’s wrath. That’s one thing everyone in their ragtag group of criminals has in common. 

The numbers have dwindled, and then swelled, starting with Ximena in the hospital weeks ago, due to Amaru’s possession of Richie, then Freddie. Every single one is taking that particular loss hard, especially Freddie and Richie, although the two of them haven’t been able to right their wrongs with each other for that one yet. Among the new group is Dakota, daughter of Earl, Freddie’s partner that both Geckos put bullet holes in. Strange how this war unites people on all sides. Stranger still is the resurrection of Carlos, something not one of them wanted to do, but needed to. After Venganza’s shocking reveal of faking her own death, they needed another person to have on their side, to keep the waters from becoming even more muddied. And so, Carlos, back alive. The last time they’d seen him, Seth, Scott, and Richie tore him limb from limb for killing Kate. 

They need him now. They need all of them. Their merry, ragtag group is united on one front: stopping Amaru; stopping the rise of Xibalba. And it’s almost heartwarming, Seth thinks as they gather in what was the Lords’ lair, the fact that all of these criminals, bloodsuckers, heroes, and everyone in between can band together one last time. It shows that there’s still humanity, that there’s still something worth fighting for. 

They all gather around the table as Carlos, Kisa, and Seth lay out the plan. It’s simple, really: Gather in the ghost town where Amaru and Brasa are stationed, where they’ve taken Freddie’s wife and daughter hostage, stop Amaru from sacrificing Billy and Margaret to get her full form yet, shedding Kate like skin. If they don’t get there in time, the eclipse will start and actual hell on earth will rise from the depths of darkness and fuckery. 

Seth pulls Kisa and Burt aside after the rest of them load up the trucks. “Look… if things get dicey,” he starts, and swallows hard. “I’m trusting the two of you to finish her off.”

Kisa’s gaze is unreadable. “Finish off Kate?” 

Seth nods, unable to meet her eyes. They all shuffle out after that, Richie and Seth bringing up the rear. Silently, they all make their way to the town, a rare hush over the whole group. They all know the plan. They all know most of them won’t make it out alive. As they arrive on the cliff overlooking Matanzas, Seth feels a chill work down his spine. 

In all seriousness, this mission wasn’t much harder than any of the others he and Richie had done. They had robbed banks blind with only the two of them and shotguns. They had made it to Mexico and survived a feeding frenzy disguised as a nightclub. They had made it through Uncle Eddie’s death. They had made it through being in the worst fight ever. They had survived Kate dying, even though both of them were to blame.

And that’s why this mission was the worst yet. Seth and Richie had just barely survived Kate’s death once. Seth knew in his heart they wouldn’t make it through her dying twice. 

 

They take the town, Seth and Richie splitting off from the rest of the group. The two of them still move symbiotically, the after effects of them being a two-headed monster for as long as they’d been on this earth. People get shot; some burn up. Every single hell-creature that had made its way up to earth and were killed by the group in Amaru’s free reign had respawned and gained strength. They wrangled the last of them, nearly shooting Seth’s head off and burning Richie to death in the process. Finally, both Geckos crouched behind the barrels, both panting and breathing. 

“We’re not dying today,” Seth says, matter-of-factly. “We’re freeze-framing. Got it?”

Richie declared he could lead Zolo, one of the warriors, out of town, leaving it ghostly and unmanned so that Seth could make his way to the church where Amaru was staked out, preparing the ceremony for her to be restored to his true form. 

“Don’t be a hero,” Seth had warned Richie, in lieu of saying what he wanted. Seth could survive through a lot of things, but he couldn’t lose his brother and his… Kate in the same day. Seth steels himself, now, eye on the sky. The eclipse is hanging in the air, pregnant and foreboding. Seth checks his watch, prays to the God he long ago stopped believing in. He makes it halfway across the town when he runs into Brasa, flaming and angry. Seth ducks into the abandoned saloon as his walkie talking chirps. 

“Richard,” Seth hisses. “Where the fuck are you?” 

Richie doesn’t answer right away. “I don’t think we’re freeze framing today,” he says finally, and Seth’s heart jumps. 

“Don’t do anything heroic,” Seth warns again, and Richie sighs. “I’m out in the middle of the desert.” His voice comes in crackly. “I don’t have my mask.” 

Seth closes his eyes, trying to keep quiet as Brasa comes in through the doors. “Richie, listen to me--” 

Richie’s voice glitches into static. Behind Seth, Brasa is bragging and going on and on and on about being strong enough to singlehandedly beat them all. With that, Seth grunts and heaves himself up off the floor. He and Brasa circle inside of the abandoned saloon; Seth pulls the trigger of the detonator as he hurls himself out of the door. Amazingly, exhaustingly, Brasa comes out of the explosion mostly unscathed. One arm is burned clean through, but apparently, because Seth can never have a win, it doesn’t seem to phase Brasa one bit. He swaggers out as Seth makes a leap for his gun, bullet falling from the air into the chamber of his gun. 

“Still running, Seth Gecko?” Brasa sneers, and with that, Seth groans, frustrated, pulling himself to stand up straight. 

“I’m _not_ running,” Seth says emphatically, and proceeds to promptly turn on his heel and leaps behind the same barrels that he and Richie had hidden behind an hour ago. Seth lifts up one free hand, squinting as he cocks the gun in his right hand. 

“Culebra venom won’t do anything,” Brasa taunts, and Seth pulls the trigger. Right before the bullet lands, singing through the air, Brasa realized Seth isn’t shooting at him. Seth is shooting at what’s directly behind him, the truck filled with Xibalban killing paraphernalia. The truck blows up, the explosion music to Seth’s ears. He eyes the sun, drifting closer and closer to the eclipse. His radio blips and Seth puts the walkie-talkie to his mouth. “Richard?”

“Go,” Richie says, and keeps talking over him as Seth tries to argue. “Go to the church. Go, Seth. Just go.” 

Seth is so far past the point of arguing. His whole body hurts. The cuts that litter his whole body ache and sting. Sweat runs into his eye, and he wipes a hand over his face. 

“Richie,” Seth says, and when Richie answers with another forceful “Go,” Seth does. 

He hasn’t run this hard in years, sprinting through the bodies and ash on the ground of Matanzas, now a ghost town twice over. Seth runs and runs and runs, thinking of when he was in middle school, on the track team. He was always the fastest out of everyone. Seth has had a lot of practice running from his demons. This is the first time he’s running towards them.

When Seth breaks through the church’s door, the sight of Kate unconscious on the ground is almost too much to bear. It hits him that this scene is reminiscent of when she died for real: hair splayed across the floor, a weakened pulse, Scott right next to her, holding her hand. It takes Seth a second to remember how to breathe. He thinks he says her name. Scott looks up. Kate’s wrists are slashed; there’s too much blood on the ground. Seth staggers forward, dropping to his knees. “This is a goddamn mess,” he seethes, tearing apart the bags and debris littered around Scott. “Where’s the blood supply?”

“It’s gone,” Scott says, his voice panicked. Seth throws him a roll of gauze, telling Scott to wrap Kate’s wrists. 

“What do you mean, it’s gone?”

“It’s gone!” Scott’s voice rips through an octave. “Burt fucked us over, it’s gone--”

“What do you mean, Burt fucked us over?” Seth hollers. Kate whimpers on the ground, eyelids fluttering. 

“He fucked us over, it’s gone,” Scott is saying, and Seth finds what he’s been looking for: an IV needle and a tube. “You can’t do that, Seth,” Scott finishes. “You can’t, what if you’re not her blood type--” And he stops, because Seth’s voice is louder and angrier. 

“Then it’s gonna be a very short transfusion,” Seth hears himself say, and tosses the needle and tube over to Scott. “Stick her.” Seth focuses on his own arm, knowing exactly how to position the needle. He hasn’t used one since he dumped Kate on the side of the road. The highs would always be too quick, too impermanent. Scott sticks Kate, as well, and the bloodflow from Seth to Kate warms something deep inside of him.

Seth watches silently as Scott begins to recite the Lord’s Prayer. It sounds strange, now, coming out of the mouth of the boy who will forever be frozen at seventeen years old. Both Fullers died before their eighteenth birthdays, no hallowed church walls around them as their loved ones prayed for their souls. Seth’s heart is hammering. The knowledge of the fact that the last time he and Richie were in a church was when they grieved for their mother is too much to bear. Seth wishes he still believed in God, still had prayers hidden under his tongue.

He barters with the Lord now, though. “Fuck it,” Seth breathes. “No more chasing foxholes.”

 

It’s a good five minutes later, after the anxiety of both boys in the church could blow the roof straight into the air, and every prayer Scott knows, until Kate takes a very shaky breath. It’s too sharp, and too painful, but it’s music to Seth’s ears. Kate inhales heavily, trying too soon to prop herself up on her two arms. 

“Hey,” Scott warns, and both of them drop down to where Kate is laying. With Seth’s help, Scott lifts Kate to the sitting position. Seth’s heart wrenches: this close, he can see the streaks of black makeup smudged under each eye. He resists the urge to smooth Kate’s hair out of her face. She looks up at him, and Seth lets a cuss word slip from his mouth again.

It takes a few minutes, but they’re finally able to wrangle Kate to a position where she can stand. Seth is stationed right by her side. He knows deep down that he should be letting Kate lean on her brother’s shoulder instead, but he allows himself to be selfish. Kate groans again, and Seth’s hands are on her before he knows what he’s doing. 

Kate gasps. “Oh my god,” she murmurs. “She’s gonna do it to everyone. She’s gonna take all our souls--”

With that, Seth tears his eyes away from her. “Listen to me,” he says, and Scott looks over at him. “You two, you’re gonna get in a car and you’re gonna drive. You get as far away from this place as you possibly can--” 

“I’m not going,” Kate says, voice like iron. 

“Kate, listen, it’s not safe here, you have to go--”

“No!” She looks up at Seth. There’s fire in her eyes, but for the first time since he left her stranded on the side of the road, it’s Kate’s fury. Not Amaru’s. Seth goes limp. “I can’t, please. I remember everything--” Her voice catches in her throat, “She made me watch all of it, especially when she tried to kill you.” Kate’s eyes are on Scott’s, but they flicker to Seth’s on the last word. “I cannot just walk away. None of us can.” 

The conversation is interrupted by the entrance of Kisa and Carlos, and a few other people Seth has yet to be introduced to. They all look war-torn and exhausted, and Seth steps back as Kisa looks at Kate. 

“Is that you?” She asks, and Kate’s eyes tear up again. Seth watches from the sidelines as Kate apologizes for Amaru’s wrath, and Kisa shakes her head vigorously. “It’s not your fault,” she promises Kate, and Seth echoes it in his own head. 

As they make their way to the ridge on the outskirts of town, and decide to split up again, Seth makes sure to keep a watchful eye on Kate, along with Scott, as Kisa, Carlos, and the soldiers they adopted into their cause go off to distract Amaru, now nearly unbeatable in her full form. Seth and the Fullers go one way; the rest of the group in the other. As the eclipse begins to dawn, casting everything around them into shades of blue, Seth notices Kate looks shaken, like she’s been put through hell, but her stubbornness propels her as she matches her boys’ strides. Seth keeps a hand up, just in case Kate falters. 

When they’ve made it halfway through town, Kate steps forward to enter one of the bullet-ridden buildings by herself. Before Seth realizes, he’s holding up an arm and his shotgun across her stomach. Kate glares at him, and his heart softens. 

“Seth,” Kate says. “You need to stop trying to protect me.” Her voice is timid but hard, and Seth shakes his head. 

“Will you give it a rest, please,” he pleads with her, hands ghosting up either of her arms. Kate shakes her head.

“No. I’m going to do the one thing I couldn’t, I’m going to stop her,” Kate declares, and Seth exhales, because this is so Kate. So stubborn and one track minded, heart always in the right place. The heart of it all is the only place they differ. 

“We need to get you there in one piece,” Seth counters, and he’s cut off by sounds of people fighting up ahead. He gives Kate one last meaningful look before they follow the path to the place where the sounds of the scuffle are coming from. A decapitated head rolls out of one of the buildings, and Seth jerks his head towards Scott and Kate, all three of them backing away. They turn a corner, Scott pressed up against the window.

Kate sees the Xibalban behind her brother before Seth does. “Scott!” She screams, starting to run toward where Scott had been dragged through the window. 

“Hey!” Seth shouts, and grabs Kate a little too roughly. She jerks back as he softens his grip. “Follow me.” They enter into the building, dimly lit and bluish with the glow of the eclipse. Seth keeps his free hand up, making sure to step carefully ahead of Kate. He’s not letting her get hurt again, or yanked out of his grasp too soon. They tread carefully, following the sounds of Scott’s grunts and blows. Kate winces, faltering a little, but keeping up in Seth’s footsteps. As they catch up to the Xibalban, Scott bares his fangs. With the help of the two of them, Scott’s able to fight the hell-creature off. Seth shoots it five extra times, for good measure. 

The three of them are able to make it back out of the saloon and across the rest of town without having to fight any other Xibalbans off. In the distance, Seth hears the blows and grunts of people fighting in the distance. He knows it’s Kisa and Amaru, but he doesn’t let this slip. He knows if Kate knows Amaru is right there, she’ll take off running and get herself killed. Seth knows now that he’ll never be able to bear it happening. He’s already lost Kate once. He’d sooner die himself before he lets that happen again. 

In the bluish ghastly light of the eclipse, the three of them make their way to the cave on the outskirts of the town. Kate casts a glance around their surroundings, and they finally disappear into the yawning mouth of the cavern. Seth finally lets his thoughts slip to Richie. In the eclipse, he might have been able to walk free in the sunlight without burning up. Seth tries not to let himself be hopeful. It always ends up with his heart broken twice. 

Kate exhales sharply beside him, snapping Seth straight out of his revierie. “Hey,” he says gently, and stops her. His hands are so light on her, but they burn all the same. God, how he missed this. 

“I’m fine,” Kate says stubbornly, and Seth fixes her with a look until she lets him stop her and check all of her bandages. “You’ve lost enough blood,” he murmurs, and she sighs, but stands still. 

After a minute of her staring, her gaze boring holes into him, Seth speaks up. “You shouldn’t even be here.”

Kate’s eyes search his face. Her own is unreadable. “Then where should I be?” 

“I don’t know,” Seth says, his voice rough. “Prom, or something. Dancing with some Jesus freak.” His heart drops in his chest a little bit with the truth of it. Kate would never be able to see Seth in the same light he sees her. She’s unblemished; pure. He’s got a black mark for his soul. He chuckles a little, and Kate’s eyes flash. “Singing in your church choir, I don’t know.” He pauses. “That’s the girl you should have been.”

“Well, that girl is long gone,” Kate says, and it’s soft, but firm, and Seth gets a flash of the first time they had this conversation, hours after she turned eighteen. He had wanted to give her the world, then, too, and just like now, it was just out of his grasp. 

Kate is staring at him now, chewing on her lip. Seth knows all too well it’s her face as a prelude to saying something honest and painful, and he waits in silence for her to speak.  
“You had a gun pointed right at my head,” Kate says finally. Seth doesn’t know which time she means, but it doesn’t matter, because the next words out of her mouth are, “And you didn’t pull the trigger.” 

Seth stares at her, blinking dumbly. And because it’s the end of the world, because there’s nothing else left to lose, because it’s Kate standing in front of him now, Seth inhales shakily and lays it all out on the table.

“I’ve done some very messed up things in my life,” Seth says. His voice is braver than he is. “I’ll be the first one to admit that. But you…” 

Kate doesn’t let him finish. Her arm slips out of his grip. “You should have killed me when you had the chance.” 

Seth feels it shatter his heart. “So this is my fault?” he asked, voice disdainful, “For not putting a bullet between your eyes?” 

Kate looks away, gaze dropping to the rocks of the cave walls, damp and darkened. She’s already a million miles away. Seth’s heart hurts with the truth of it all. He truly was never worth her, not for one second. Who would choose Seth, broken, fucked up, dark Seth, over a life living out in the light. And even though it hurts, he knows. Kate was never meant to live a life in the shadows. That’s where Seth resides. She’s too good for any of this, heart too pure.

Kate’s talking again, and Seth’s attention is on her voice. “I can always count on Seth Gecko to make the tough call,” she says, and it’s softened by the ghost of a smile dancing across her face. “Amaru is still a part of me. She knows it. So when I walk through that gate down there, it’s gonna close. And you’re gonna have to let me walk. Xibalba is going to be welcoming home their long-lost queen.” Kate pauses, wincing. “She knows that, that’s why she’s--”

“No,” Seth interrupts, voice forceful. “No, no way in hell.” 

“Seth,” Kate breathes, and her voice is so soft that he stops to listen. “This is what has to happen--” 

But she’s cut off by Scott’s voice, sharp and loud. He’s screaming, and it takes a second for it to register to Seth and Kate alike that Scott had walked off from beside them while they were talking. Something’s snarling down the corridor, and both of them break into a sprint. 

It takes a minute, but they make it all the way into the depths of the cavern.Scott is in agony on the ground; Kate rushes forward. “You’re just gonna have to let me die, Kate,” he manages, and she shakes her head vehemently. “No,” Kate hisses. “No.” 

“You know what I love to do with culebras?” Amaru says, stepping out from behind a rock. “Hang them up in the sun and just watch them burn.”

“Let him go, you twisted bitch,” Seth spits, walking towards her. 

Amaru just smirks, and Seth’s gut twists. Even though it’s easier to work through when that smile isn’t plastered across Kate’s sweet face, Seth feels his heart dropping. “If I were you, I’d be more concerned about your brother than hers.”

Seth steps forward, fists clenched. “What the fuck did you do to him?” 

“He’s on the other side,” Amaru is saying. “Where he belongs, ready to serve. You’ll all have a chance to serve.” Out of the corner of his eye, Seth sees Kate’s jaw clench. 

Before he has a chance to spew out a litany of his favorite curse words, Kate steps forward. “Take me instead,” she says, and incredibly, her voice is even. “Kill me.” She cocks her head as Amaru’s eyes narrow. “You can’t,” Kate whispers, and a twisted grin spreads across her face. “You feel it, too. I’m still a part of you.” 

Scott is burning up on the ceiling, and Seth doesn’t know how Kate has the strength to ignore her brother in agony. But she keeps stepping forward, level with Amaru. 

“We’re connected,” Amaru echoes. “We’ll always be connected--”

“Not if I walk through that gate,” Kate says calmly. Her eyes flicker to the center of the cave, where evil orange light is seeping and swirling through towards the four of them. Seth takes another step, stomach clenched. “I’ll be gone forever, and you’ll be powerless.” 

She steps forward, all iron and steel. “Kate,” Seth says, and the word is out of his mouth before he can stop it, “Don’t do this.” He raises his gun, but he knows they both know he doesn’t have the heart to shoot her. “Take another step,” he says levelly, “And I pop your knees.”

Amaru rolls her eyes. “I have a better idea. Take another step, and I kill your brother.” This halts Kate, and Seth raises his gun a fraction of an inch. “You won’t just be killing him, though. You’ll also be sentencing Mr. Gecko to his death.” Kate stares down at Scott, who’s imploring her to let himself be killed. Seth’s eyes lock on Kate’s. He hopes she can read everything inside of his head right now, just in case he never has the chance to say it out loud. 

“Kate,” Seth calls again, and his voice is hollow, “Don’t do this.” She stares at the gate, and then back at him, and then, amazingly, a smile lights up her whole face. 

“How could I not?” She says, and the way she’s looking at Seth now is all he’s ever wanted. “You brought them all together. All those thieves, and bloodsuckers, you made them all heroes.” Kate whispers, and the weight of the words makes Seth’s heart hammer against his chest once more. 

Amaru sniffs, unbothered. “They let you die,” she taunts, and Kate’s eyes snap back to hers once more. 

“And you made me kill,” she countered, and all the softness that was in her voice evaporates. “After all I’ve done, I deserve this walk.” 

“Are you here for redemption? In whose eyes? Your God’s?” Amaru simpers, and Kate shakes her head imperceptibly. Seth wouldn’t have noticed if his eyes weren’t devouring every inch of her that he could. It takes a moment for the next words to register. “In the eyes of the people I love,” Kate says, and she looks at Scott, and then, unimaginably, she locks her gaze on Seth.

Seth’s heart is beating out of his chest. He remembers, all at once, that first day. After the liquor store shootout, after Richie killing that bank teller, after stopping at the motel, right when Kate almost ran him over. How stupid and naive he was back then, ridiculous the notion it was that Seth could ever take this girl and her family and use for his own gain, and be able to just discard them afterwards. 

In this moment, Seth lets himself feel all of it. He’s in love with Kate Fuller. From before this whole mess, before the possession, before her death. Before leaving her on the side of the road with bonds and cash and a wired car. Before living in and out of motel rooms, on the run together. Before he knew they had the same favorite Eagles song, that both of their mothers cooked spaghetti and meatballs, that Kate could speak fluent French, that she could devour a book a day if she wanted to. Before she asked if Seth wanted some company outside of the Titty Twister, where both of them lost their brothers to immortality and venom. Before he saved her ass down in that temple, before she saved his. Before he made that hollow, empty promise that she’d make it through without any bumps and scrapes. 

And that’s why he’s able to lower the gun. Seth un-cocks the trigger, his eyes finding Kate’s. “You know what,” he’s murmuring, and his voice is broken, but he doesn’t care, “You’re right.” He pauses, exhaling, looking up at Kate. “Time to pay up.”

His chest caves in as she smiles, sweet and pained. “Time to let go, partner,” and Seth’s heart wrenches again, fighting his ribs to break its way out and land in Kate’s soft palms. But he wrestles the nerve to go up to her and touch her one last time, and he watches as she disappears into the orange glow. Maybe this is how it was supposed to end. Maybe Seth had this all coming. Maybe he wasn’t allowed to love anyone that pure. 

And it hurts, it all hurts, but on some level, it’s okay, too. Seth tries to tell himself he doesn’t believe in fate, but the stakes are different now. Seth watches her disappear, screaming, into the barrier of the two worlds. Amaru still has Scott in a literal death grip. With Kate gone, Seth hardens his composure, shoots her in the wrist. Amaru snarls, head whipping to face Seth. Her human exterior evaporates in seconds, revealing her true form: tentacles, green skin, rotten teeth. 

“You are one ugly motherfucker,” Seth remarks, and it’s worth it even after she starts after him. He’s ready to tear her to shreds. Rip her apart piece by piece, like he did to Carlos. Seth has a soul, but these are the moments when he’s able to shut that part of him off. With Amaru out of Kate, he’s able to kill her with a clear mind and a clear conscience. 

And then, with no warning, a knife sings by his forearm and lands itself into Amaru’s stomach. She screams, and it’s the most horrible sound Seth has ever heard. He whips his head around to find Kisa, bloodied and angry. She’s wounded, but she’s not letting it stop her. She hurtles by him as he steps back to watch Kisa wreak her havoc on the creature that ripped them both away from the women they loved. 

Kisa stabs Amaru again, and she steps back, snarling and hissing. Kisa doesn’t let up, driving the knife into her ugly stomach until Amaru falls to the ground. Feet away, Scott heaves a huge breath of life, the lines of torture from Amaru’s soul-sucking healing as he lets air fill his lungs. Amaru struggles to get up, and when she does, her voice sounds fucked and discordant. “I’ll take you all to hell with me,” she promises, and before Seth has the time to even process a snappy retort, the glowing orange door to Xibalba begins shaking.

Incredibly, unbelievably, both Kate and Richie are walking out of it. Seth’s heart wrenches. This cannot be real, this has to be a trick -- but it isn’t as Kate steps forward, a glower to rival all of Amaru’s hellfire painted across her face. “No, you won’t,” Kate says, seething. “They’re gonna take _you._ ” And with that, she reaches forward with her own two hands (hands that glanced across Seth’s, hands that brushed up against the snakebites in his neck to shoot him up, hands that killed culebras down in the temple, hands that Seth would do anything to hold) and rips Amaru’s heart right out of her body. Seth doesn’t pretend to not be delighted, even with Amaru’s blood and guts splattered across his face. 

The whole Earth shakes as Amaru falls backwards into her hell, a prisoner of a place she used to rule. There’s justice in that, even though Seth knows the pain Amaru brought upon all of them would never be fully rectified. He wants to run over to Kate, sweep her off her feet. He lets Kisa be the first one to bridge the gap -- she walks over to where Kate is sitting on the ground, Amaru’s horrible amulet cast astray as she died. “She’s not part of you anymore,” Kisa promises. Kate lets Kisa hold her. Even from behind, Seth can tell she’s trying not to cry. Kate tosses the amulet back through the portal, letting go of Amaru’s physical hold on her.

All of a sudden, the whole ground starts to shake. “Of course that would happen,” Scott mutters. “Now what are we doing?” 

The words aren’t even out of Richie’s mouth when his feet start moving. “We’re running.” And they do. The five of them run like hell, or more accurately, away from hell. Hell that would have crashed down upon all of them if they hadn’t started moving at exactly the right second. They make it to the surface, tumbling onto the dirt of Matanzas. 

Carlos and the remaining survivors of Amaru’s once-possessed slaves rendezvous with them in the heart of town. Scott is the first one to break the silence. “I’m gonna head out,” he says. “You wanna come with?” This is directed at Kate. Seth hangs off to the side awkwardly, trying to give the two siblings a chance to say goodbye properly. Kate is wordless. She reaches up to hug her brother. “I love you,” Seth hears her whisper. “But everything’s changed.” The two siblings share a meaningful look, and Seth drops his gaze. 

He walks over to the saloon where he fought Brasa, finding his own suit jacket: dusty, ripped, but still his. Seth slings it over one shoulder, turning around to see Carlos sitting silently in the rocking chair on the bar’s porch. 

“Carlito,” Seth says, “Once again you left the heavy lifting for the rest of us.” His voice isn’t poisonous, though. When Kisa offers up a quiet, “he had his reasons,” Seth lets the persecution stop there. He is so fucking tired. 

When Carlos asks Seth what his plans are, Seth just shrugs. “I don’t know, actually.” He swings himself down the steps, the usual Seth Gecko swagger returning as his boots touch sand. “And you know what?” He pauses, letting his eyes drift over the ragtag group that he’s come to know and love. “That is fuckin’ glorious.” 

Kisa meets his eyes; nods silently. Neither of them have had the heart to fight with each other since this whole mess started. It’s easier now that they aren’t pulling Richie in opposite directions. She addresses her army in Spanish; they head off in the distance where the sun is sinking low into the sky. Carlos bids his farewell, and the group dwindles down to just Seth, Richie, and Kate. 

Richie has a smile on his face. “So,” he says, and Seth turns his attention to his little brother. “What now?” Seth echoes, and Richie lifts one shoulder. 

“Well,” he says, long and easy, just the way he always has, “Seems like everyone in the world, both in this one and the next, knows what I need to be.” Seth raises an eyebrow. “Knows what we need to be. And only one way to live.” 

Richie claps a hand to Seth shoulder. Seth gives a long, meaningful gaze over at Kate, who has the saddest smile across her face. She nods, just a tip of her chin, and Seth waits there for a second, hoping she’ll follow him. 

And she does. Not right away, it’s until Seth and Richie are to the outskirts of town. The sun is dripping lazily over the mountains in the distance. “Wait,” Kate calls, and that one word anchors both the brothers Gecko in their spots. Richie is the first to turn. Seth can’t quite believe his ears. 

Kate takes her time, and as soon as she’s close enough, Seth feels that magnetic pull in his chest, mooring him to Kate once more. 

“I… I don’t know where I’m going,” she admits. “I never thought I’d have this day.” 

Seth wants so badly to bring her to his chest; stay there for eternity. He says nothing, waits for Kate to open her mouth again. And it takes her a while to find the words, but they finally come out. “I want to come along with you.” 

Richie glances over at Seth. Seth already knows he’ll say yes. 

“Are you sure?” Seth asks, and Kate nods, just once. He beams at her, holds out a hand. They get to the edge of town; hotwire a car. 

 

They drive and drive and drive until Mexico turns into stateside. The red dust fades into trees and greenery. Seth isn’t sure how long they were on the road; Richie’s ability to never need sleep again turned him designated driver. They check into a small motel. Force of habit. Seth helps Kate inside, lays her down on the bed. She wants to talk, but he refuses to until she’s gotten some sleep.

Over the next day and a half, Seth keeps watch over Kate. Richie had gone out to get her more clothes, but she opted for one of Seth’s shirts and a pair of boxers rather than any of the fancy pajamas Richie got from the store. Richie comes in and out of the room, seeming determined to give Kate and his brother some space. Seth doesn’t know where Richie disappears to in the daytime where he won’t be charred by the sunlight, but he hasn’t had the chance to ask.

Kate wakes up from a nightmare the next day, the first time she’s been awake for more than a few minutes. Seth hops from the chair in front of the tv to her bedside. 

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” he says reassuringly. “Kate. It’s okay. It’s me, it’s Seth, you’re safe.” 

It takes a minute for her breath to regulate. Seth realizes he was holding each side of her face, force of habit from trying to break through to her in the weeks past. He goes to let go of her face, but Kate’s hands come up on either side and immobilize his. 

“If you told me the day you met me, I’d willingly end up in a motel room with you, I would have called you crazy,” Kate says finally, and Seth chuckles. His heart wrenches as he processes the words. She’s already willingly been in a motel room with him. 

“Seth,” Kate says, and her voice is so soft. “Thank you.”

“Thank me? For what?” he asks, voice incredulous. “For getting you killed? Getting you possessed, and nearly killed again?” 

“For saving me,” Kate says, and Seth is laughing in shock. “No, stop. You didn’t… You could have walked away. You didn’t have to stick around and finish the job.” 

Seth’s grip tightens around her face. “I will never, ever walk away from you again,” he says, teeth clenched. Kate’s eyes are swimming with tears, and Seth feels his own doing the same. “I am so sorry, Kate, I am so sorry, this is all my fault, this is all my fault, I never should have taken you, I never should have used you, I never should have even met you, you deserve so much better than me, than the guy that got you fucking _killed_ \--”

Seth isn’t aware he’s choking back tears until Kate’s finger reaches up to wipe one away from his cheek. “You’re also the guy that got me back,” she whispers, and tightens her grip around his face. “I forgive you.” 

With that, Seth’s eyes snap wide open. Kate’s tracing her palms over the lines of his face, and this is better than all the fever dreams he had of her doing this exact thing after he left her alone. It’s better because it’s real, and even though Seth knows he doesn’t deserve the real thing, it’s so hard to make himself stop. “You said you didn’t,” he manages. “You told me that you didn’t forgive me.” 

“I forgive you _now_ ,” Kate says, and suddenly, without Seth realizing how it happened, his lips are on Kate’s. His hands are tangled feverishly in her hair, and he’s on top of her and under her at the same time, and she’s so soft, and she tastes so good, and this is all he’s ever wanted. He almost passes out when Kate moans, and it takes a minute for him to pull himself away. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you want me to stop?” His eyes search hers, and before he can say another word, Kate’s legs have come up around his and pulled his body back to hers, magnetic and electric. 

Seth’s always been good at sex, been good at everything leading up to it. It’s like second nature, he’s always known exactly how to do it and make it perfect. But with Kate, even just kissing her burns like sin, and Seth wants more and more, no matter how much it hurts. His hands end up back in her hair, and hers are running up and down his back. Seth lets his lips trail along Kate’s neck, down to the pressure point right before it meets her chest. She moans again and Seth shivers, locking his lips against her collarbone. 

His whole body aches, yearning for her. With Kate underneath him, lips tasting like heaven, it’s unfathomable to him how he could have ever denied wanting her, wanting her in this way. He wants every piece of her. Every part of Seth’s body is alive and electric, every corner of his heart yearns for her. He pushes his hips against her, moans into her mouth. 

“More,” Kate whispers. “More, more, _more_.” 

Seth wants nothing more than to give her more, but he stops. It takes every muscle in his body to pull away from Kate, but he manages it. She props herself up on her elbows, the shoulder of Seth’s button up slipping off, down her arm. “What the hell,” Kate says, and it’s so matter of fact that Seth swoons. 

Instead, he settles for her hand. The other trails through her hair, soft and gentle, totally opposite from just a few minutes ago. “I want you,” he whispers, and Kate exhales happily. 

“You have me,” she says, her voice breathy. “You can have all of me, right here.”

“God, I want to,” Seth responds, his voice quiet. “You have no idea how much I want to. But… I want this to be right. I want to do you right this time around. I don’t want to fuck it up, any of it, but especially not this.” 

“I wouldn’t have expected Seth Gecko to be someone who would turn down sex,” Kate says, and her eyes flash, but there’s hurt written in them, too. Seth exhales and lets a hand drop to Kate’s cheek.

“I wouldn’t. I would never, not from you--” He breaks off, and Kate’s devilish grin is back. “Look, this is all I’ve wanted since I lost you. Not -- I haven’t just wanted sex -- I just wanted you back. I want you, now. All of you, in every way. But I won’t be able to live with myself if I hurt you again. If I fuck this up.” 

“You won’t,” Kate says, and her hand is guiding his chin up. He looks up at her. “And you’re not taking advantage of me. I want this. I want _you_.” 

Seth’s heart almost caves in. His lips are back on Kate’s, and she’s rolled on top of him, and both of them are kissing each other like the world had actually ended. It takes all of his strength, but Seth is able to pull away from her again. “Kate, I’m serious. I want this to be special for you. I don’t want it to be something you’re doing to -- Prove you’re still you, or something. That you’re alive. I know you’re alive. I don’t want this to be something I’m ripping away from you, too.” 

Kate doesn’t argue, and Seth is glad for it. He knows if her lips touch his again, he won’t be able to pull away. Kate’s better than any high he’s ever had; any rush from pulling off heists. She runs a thumb over his lips, longing and barely-there. “Okay,” she says finally, and burrows into Seth’s side. When Richie gets home, he beams so giddily Seth knows that it’s more than just Richie’s greatest shit-eating grin. “It’s about fuckin’ time,” is all Richie says, and settles from the abandoned chair by the TV. He bought them dinner, and even though Richie had probably fed on rats or other small animals while he was out, he had bought himself a horchata. Seth doesn’t even try to make the argument of Richie not actually needing to eat or drink anything but blood; he knows Richie will find some way to make his point moot. 

They live like this, in and out of motel rooms. Richie has taken up crashing in another room than Seth and Kate, without any of them ever asking him to. Seth feels more secure than he ever has before, his heart happily in between Kate’s hands.

She has good days and bad days, good nights and worse nights. She wakes up screaming sometimes, and Seth is always right there when she needs him. They fall asleep together, intertwined more often than not. Seth still thrills with the thought of how ridiculous it was that they never slept like this when they were on the run together. All that time they spent fighting, all the angst and hurt feelings they were working through, and every time they touched it was like an electric shock. He brings this up to Kate one night, while they’re lying under the covers together. She’s pressed against his chest, smooth skin of her face touching the skin right over his heart. 

“I’m almost glad we didn’t,” Kate had murmured. “It would have made losing each other harder.” Seth had agreed sleepily. He can’t imagine what heartbreak he would have had to endure if he had allowed himself to admit he loved Kate before she died. 

The weeks pass, and with it comes Seth’s confession of love. Kate doesn’t say anything at first, and it takes Seth a minute to remember how to breathe. “I love you,” Kate had whispered finally. “I do, I love you. I’d say I love you too, but I was the one who said it first.” Seth’s smile works its way across his face. Kate is beaming.

“That wasn’t just to Scott?” 

“Definitely not just to Scott.” 

After that comes sex. Not immediately after, and not all at once, no matter how much either of them want it. It takes a serious level of self-control on both of their parts, but they make their way to the whole thing, and it’s amazing. Seth has never felt like this, not with anyone, not ever. Not Sonja in the shower, not his ex-wife, not to the girls throughout high school and beyond. This is different: it’s holy and unholy all at once. It’s both undoing him at every seam and making him whole again. Kate tastes like sin, Seth devours her, not caring where his soul is going after death. Kate tells him every time that this is the best she’s ever had. Seth would call her a liar, but he feels the same. 

They fall into domesticity so easily, Seth knows he has to let go of the notion that he doesn’t believe in fate. He does, of course he does. He was fated to meet Kate, fated to protect her in the temple, fated to go on the run with her. Fated to have his heart broken when she died, fated to have her come back to him, every time. Fated to fall in love with Kate Fuller.

Seth still apologizes every night for breaking his promise. Kate forgives him every time, but he knows he’ll never able to let go of that guilt. Kate got hurt, Kate didn’t make it through without any bumps or scrapes. His promise to Jacob had fallen flat, too. His daughter was not going to be fine, and, with this, Kate reminds him that she is now. 

It’s not until he voices this concern to Kate the next day that she is able to beat away all that guilt lurking around Seth’s heart. “I kept mine,” she reminds him. “I told you in that dream I could never leave you.” Seth exhales as she leans in for a kiss. In the daylight, Kate tastes like sunshine. “I never will,” she vows, and with that, Seth sighs, lets himself be kissed, and believes her.


End file.
